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@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
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# 英文作文分析报告
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## 语法错误
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1. ① "you derseve"(第3行)→ 拼写错误,应为"deserve" ② "What lead to your success"(第3-4行)→ 主谓不一致,应改为"What led to your success" ③ "go all out for the contest"(第4行)→ 缺少连词,应改为"and went all out" ④ "It's real encouragement"(第5行)→ 冠词缺失,应改为"It's a real encouragement" ⑤ "your passion on Chinese Chess"(第6行)→ 介词错误,应改为"passion for Chinese Chess" ⑥ "experience on learn it"(第7行)→ 介词+动词原形错误,应改为"experience in learning it"
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2. 2. 用词不当: ① "go all out"(第4行)→ 口语化表达,正式信件建议改为"dedicated efforts" ② "marvel at"(第6行)→ 语气过强,建议改为"admire" ③ "traditional skills"(第6行)→ 中国象棋属于智力运动而非技能,建议改为"traditional board games" ④ "How I..."句式(第6行)→ 倒装句使用不当,建议改为陈述句式
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3. 3. 逻辑结构问题: ① 缺少段落划分,所有内容集中在单一段落 ② 信息顺序混乱:祝贺→成功原因→个人感受→请求经验应分层表述 ③ 结尾突兀,缺乏过渡:"Looking forward to your early reply"直接接结尾敬语 ④ 重复表达:"admire you"与"marvel at your performance"语义重复
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4. 4. 改进建议: (1) 结构重组建议: Dear Peter, 【祝贺段】I am writing to express my heartfelt congratulations on... 【成就分析段】Your success undoubtedly stems from... 【个人影响段】Witnessing your achievement has inspired me to... 【请求段】I would be grateful if you could share... 【结尾段】Once again, please accept my warmest congratulations. I look forward to... (2) 语言优化示例: 原句:How I marvel at your perfect performance... 优化:Your exemplary performance has profoundly inspired my interest in... (3) 格式规范: ① 添加段落空行 ② 规范结尾格式: Looking forward to your early reply. Yours sincerely, [Your Name] (4) 补充具体细节: 建议增加1-2个具体事例(如备赛周期/训练方法),使内容更充实 最终呈现建议采用四段式结构,每段聚焦一个核心内容,使用更准确的学术词汇(如"strategic dedication"替代"go all out"),并通过连接词(Furthermore, Moreover)增强逻辑衔接。
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